More 50 year old Stuff

Well, a Government shutdown was averted about one hour before the deadline yesterday.. and all is right with the world... until the next time. Today, once again, I feel the need to escape to the less worrisome time of 1961. At least, it looks less worrisome to me.. as I glance backwards for 50 big ones. And besides.. I really don't feel like tackling my income tax return again today. Maybe tomorrow. (Right, Annie?)

01. 1961 Long Livers.

In 1961, there were 17 million Americans who were 65 years old or older.

Today, 50 years later, there are 40 million Americans who are 65 years old or older.

In 20 more years (2031) it has been projected that there will be 71 million persons 65 years old or older.

Remember that the developers of the U.S. Social Security system picked 65 as the retirement age because not too many persons lived to that age during the 1930's.

Today, I saw a picture from 1948 of a person who was 65 years old. She looked like she was 90. And in 1948, 65 was still considered very old.. but then in 1961, people got younger.. or, at least, began to look younger. And now, today, someone 65 usually looks like 45 used to look, at least in my opinion. Or is this just because I suffer from Macular Degeneration?

02. 1961 Bird Brains.

Dr. Willard F. Day, of Reno, Nevada, set a red football on a circular conveyer belt and baby ducks continually followed it around, quacking happily. He had the radical (then) idea that certain types of birds will form parental relationships with whatever moving object they happen to see after birth.

03. 1961 Symphony.

During 1961, a Polish pianist held a successful concert tour in Britain, playing on a silent piano, with the keys nailed down. The audiences showed their appreciation for his performances by withholding their applause.

04. 1961 Dental Hygiene.

One activity that was too indelicate for viewing on TV in 1961 was spitting. For instance, in a network TV ad for toothpaste, a beautiful girl was shown in great detail brushing her teeth. She picked up the brush, squirted out the paste, and started to brush. Then, suddenly, she swallowed the toothpaste.

05. 1961 SciFi.

R. A. McConnell, of the University of Pittsburgh, suggested that the Russians may have been breeding a super race by genetic engineering. Each year since 1946, 1,000 genius types could have been chosen to interbreed remotely so that by 1975 a human elite could be around to speed up the evolutionary process, so that 50,000 years of mankind development could take place in the span of a lifetime.

McConnell says: "Remove from history 1,000 great names in science, 1,000 in philosophy and religion, 1,000 more in the arts, and the rest of us would still be bronze age savages."

Those of us who saw what the year 1975 was like, know that Mr. McConnell must have been smoking funny tobacco, because, as far as we know, the Russian Mensa membership has remained quite low for many years.

Didn't der Fuehrer try this, Herr Doktor Mengele?

06. 1961 Crime.

The Baltimore Sun Paper reported that a "wheelchair cripple" was fined $50 for stealing 75 cents worth of potato chips and some "Brown and Serve" rolls.


A policeman heard glass breaking at 2 am, and observed a man pushing another man at great speed in a wheelchair, while the seated man stuffed potato chips in his mouth and squeezed rolls under his armpits.

07. 1961 Student Composition.

The following school composition was found in a returned book at the Enoch Pratt Library:

The Boy Who Laged

One day this boy went to a Party. then he saw a cloun that laghed. We he got home he started to lagh. his mother told him to be quiet. then she called a docter and said you must help my boy. then the docter said I can't help that boy. then she called another docter he couldn't help him. then the lady gave him a Sleeping pill. but he laghed and laghed and laghed. then the lady got sick of him. then she brought a gun and shout him. The end.

08. 1961 Married Life for Barnacle Bill

The Smithsonian Institution reported in 1961 that a tiny female barnacle has reduced married life to its simplest. She carries one or two husbands around in her pocket.

This particular barnacle, of the family lithogyptidae, doesn't live on ship bottoms, but burrows into coral. While the female is tiny.. barely eight one-hundredths of an inch long.. the male is even less, a small, simple sac without the ability for independent action, saved only for reproduction, and housed in a pocket in the female's right side.

And, it might be remembered, the famous Charles Darwin delivered in 1851 to his publishers, according to Bill Bryson, a "hefty manuscript" about barnacles called: A Monograph of the Fossil Lepadidae, or, Pedunculated Cirripedes of Great Britain.


Bill reports that Darwin also produced other works about barnacles.. but finally declared: "I hate a barnacle as no man ever did before."

Incidentally, I highly recommend Bill Bryson's wonderfully erudite and humorous book, At Home, A Short History of Private Life.

09. More 1961 Dental Hygiene

In 1961, University of Alabama scientists uncovered a new clue to ways to make teeth less susceptible to decay. The scientists softened the tooth enamel with a known softening agent, and then rehardened the enamel by soaking the teeth in a solution of calcium salts. The teeth hardened faster when a small amount of fluoride was added to the solution. Aha!

10. 1961 Hiccup Cure

Providence, Rhode Island Doctor Erminio Cardi said, in 1961, that he has cured hiccups by manipulating a hair protruding from the inner ear. This causes a short-circuit between the nerves of the ear and the intestinal system and stops the hiccup.

But, someone asked Doctor Cardi: "Suppose there is no hair to manipulate?"

Dr. Cardi replied (from his cell?): "Twirl a stick tipped with cocaine-soaked cotton in the ear. This works fine."

11. 1961 Height Facts

In 1961, average height was 5'8" and the following height facts were published (by Parade magazine, I think):

St. Francis Xavier was 4'6"

Immanuel Kant was 5'

Ludwig Von Beethoven was 5'4"

Justice Felix Frankfurter was 5'4 1/2"

Fiorello La Guardia (mayor of NYC) was 5'3 1/2"

12. 1961 Humor

From the Defender, San Francisco, CA:

Because of several over-long speeches, the weekly Social Workers meeting was running late. The toastmaster arose to introduce the evening's principal speaker. "I know that we're all anxious to hear from our next guest the distinguished sociologist, Dr. Hornbottom. It's getting late and I've persuaded Dr. Hornbottom to make his remarks as brief as possible. He is going to talk to us on the subject of sex."

The doctor rose and walked briskly to the speaker's rostrum. He glanced around the auditorium and said: "Ladies and gentlemen: It gives me great pleasure. Thank you and good evening."

Joe's Last Fifty Years

I had started to post information about 50 years ago to another blog, but it was mixed in with current news, so it was suggested that I develop a new blog just devoted to the things that happened 50 years ago. At first.. this will be stuff that I recorded from newspapers and magazines in the year 1961. OMG...that sure is a long time ago... but it seems like only yesterday.

01. Orbiting grapefruit? In 1958, the US threw up a puny challenge to the Soviet Sputnik.. it was called Vanguard I. Using solar power, it was still transmitting radio signals in 1961.. and probably will continue to transmit for hundreds of years. Today, it would have orbited the earth nearly 12,000 times, covering more than 409 billion miles!

Because of Vanguard I, we know that the earth is slightly pear-shaped.

02. Weird names? I was working on individual disability cases in 1961, and I, like lots of other Social Security employees, saved what we thought were funny names. Here are some:

Birdie Berryhill

A. Reck

Cola Chick

Richela Paternoster

Load Tonnes

Mr. Sizzleberger

Snow Melton

Dr. Needle

Willie Huckleberry Finn

Avie Maria Jenkins (Miss University)

Theophile Etheneus De Fosse

03. China beat Columbus?

The Communist newspaper, Wen Wei Pao, declared that Chinese Buddhists reached the "New World" 1,000 years before Columbus left to cross the Atlantic. It is claimed that they reached North America by way of the Aleutians and Alaska around the year 500 AD.

04. Chinese Marriage

By ancient Chinese custom, concubinage was permitted, but was regulated. A man's first wife was known at his kit fat. She was the senior woman in the house and received much respect. If she died, and he remarried, his second wife would be known as the tin fong, and would also be respected. Either woman would be known as the man's tsai, and only one such wife was allowed at a time. However, the man could take concubines into his household.

A concubine, or a tsip, was considered a member of the household and her children were legitimate, but she was considered inferior and the tsai could make things miserable for her if she wanted to.

A friend of ours for many years was the daughter of an American woman and a Chinese man. He also had a wife in China, and the family would visit there often. I don't know how that arrangement worked out based on what I said above.

05. Love Unseen is not Obscene.

Italy's Supreme Court has ruled that love-making in a car parked along the street is not an obscene act.. if the windows are curtained or steamed over so no one can see inside.

06. Nude Swimming Ruled not Indecent

A San Mateo, California municipal court has found that Miss Kay Ellis, aged 58, is not breaking any laws by swimming in the nude in the privacy of her backyard. Miss Ellis said, "I never dreamed anyone could see me. If I'd have known I was being watched, I'd have worn a fur coat."

07. Undies are a Fire Hazard

The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents has ruled, in Scarborough, England, that girls wearing nylon panties can cause explosions and fires.

08. Old Man arrives in NY with his 12th Wife

Bearded Joseph Abraham, reputed to be 102 years old, arrived from Isreal with his 12th wife. She is 43 years old. He is the father of 65 children, and his oldest son is 79 years old. His driver's license lists his birth date as September 27, 1858. He heads a cult known as "The Calling of the Twelve Tribes." He does not drink or smoke... very rare for a man in 1961.

09. Genealogy.

Dr. Emile Zuckerkandl, a chemist from the California Institute of Technology, says that fingerprint studies show that man is closely related to gorillas and chimpanzees. The study also shows that cows and pigs are not very far apart on the evolutionary scale. Most of their shared features are also shared by men. Although called "fingerprints", the material studied is really hemoglobin molecules.

10. Vodkasickle.

The Mad Men should have known about this: A Cedar Rapids company has successfully developed a frozen martini on a stick, like a popsicle.

11. Wheelchair race.

Three bathrobed men in wheelchairs raced through traffice to get to a tavern. Peoria, Illinois police escorted them back to their hospital. The men said that they were just thirsty for a beer.

12. Great Idea!

A Paris restaurant has started a new tradition. Whenever a couple comes in, the woman is given a menu with highly inflated prices. The man is given the actual menu with normal prices. The man is seen by the woman to be a "big spender" and a highly desirable partner, and the proprietor sees a big rise in the number of customers. Damn smart, these French!